Improving

Ok, I know it has been awhile, so bare with me.  For pretty much the entire month of March and the first week of April I went to a reintegration retreat which is basically a place designed to help people through traumatic experiences.  The place
was nice.  It was isolated away from most things.  They told us the intent was to give us time to relax from the everyday stressors that life back home has and would reduce our chances of relapsing into a bad psychological state.

I liked it for the most part.  I was generally left alone until I felt able to open up to others.  We had meetings together everyday.  It didn't seem like that typical group therapy shit we all see on tv shows.  It was more like hearing how other people have risen past their traumatic experiences and the long journey they had to take.

It was out in the woods and there was a lake nearby.  We were able to do some fun stuff to help take our minds off of things.  I enjoyed going for walks by myself in the woods.  Eventually I got the running bug and started going for jogs.  I was able to get up to pretty good pace out there.  I'm proud about that.  We all need victories to help us I suppose.  That was mine.  I was able to go from unable to walk, to barely able to walk properly, to now being able to run.

I felt out of place there like I always do.  There were people there with recovering from some serious problems.  One girl was a recovering addict of...well about everything.  There was a girl who had been rescued from human trafficking, which basically means she was forced into prostitution.  Of course there were other rape survivors there as well.  It's generally a difficult topic to even begin to open up with.  I am glad that some of these women can.  I have a hard time.  My saving grace is that I don't remember anything of my experience.  They remember EVERYTHING.  What this means is that they have numerous "triggers" which can make them relive their experiences.  I feel like my problems are so miniscule compared to them.

I met a friend there.  She was recovering from abuse and drugs.  Her name is Courtney.  She was the first person I was able to really, I mean really, open up to.  We became pretty good friends rather quickly.  We got pretty close.  I really like her.  I kinda miss having her around too.