Sucks...

So I have terrible news.  One of my best friends had to cut me off because of her relationship with her man.
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So sure you'd split and run

Ready for the worst
Before the damage was done

The storm never came
Or it never was
Didn't know getting lost in the blue
It meant I wound up losing you
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One of my best friends had to cut ties with me.  In her defense we always had an attraction to one another.  However, our relationship was deeper than that.  We had been friends for years.  Since the MySpace days if you really want to put a date on it.  Most of you know that I have been through a lot of hard times and/or dealt a shitty hand by the evil card dealer that dictates life.  It has been very difficult for me to open up to most people.  She has always been there for me.  Listened to my problems.  Offered advice.  I may not have given nearly as much back to her and for that I am truly sorry.  I don't know where I can go from here.  I feel like I've been gutted of one of the few solaces I have been provided in this life.  I don't know what to do.  I have nightmares almost every night.  My only comfort is alcohol.  That seems to subside the terrible dreams I have.  I don't know what to do.  I need her in my life.  She means the world to me.  Friends forever.  Fuck my life.  Why do I continue to be scorned by the Goddess?  I don't know what to do anymore...