It's Been a Year...

It's been a year for me.  Well, it will be soon.  Last New Year's Eve I was raped, beaten, and left for dead in a Chicago alleyway adjacent to a bar I had snuck into. 

Sept. 2nd

So I decide to pour my heart out about my fucking problems from

Sept.1

I just want to scream at the top of my lungs.  Until there is no more breath

THoughts AUg 31st

I must apologize to my friends.  I have put you through a lot of shit.  It is mostly my bullshit.  I'm

Sucks...

So I have terrible news.  One of my best friends had to cut me off because of her relationship with her man.
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So sure you'd split and run

Online Rape Group

So I've been a member of an online rape survivors group since February this year.  I've never really felt like I belong there.  Why?  Well several

Assholes

Let's face it. Some people are. Like this Grade A Douche Canoe. He started talking mad shit to my girl Adrijana. Insulting the ever loving fuck out of her. For no reason. He claims it was because she never or rarely talked to him. It's probably because he was an asshole. So we stepped up to him and this is just part of how it went down. #firstworldproblems

  

 

All apologetic now.  We won.  And made him look like an idiot.

Improving

Ok, I know it has been awhile, so bare with me.  For pretty much the entire month of March and the first week of April I went to a reintegration retreat which is basically a place designed to help people through traumatic experiences.  The place

Off I go

This is about to happen.  I'm still a little uneasy about finally being discharged

Guess what?

Well I have some news.  I suppose we all knew that it was coming sooner than later, and probably sooner as I've crossed the 3 month mark.

Some of my injuries

So I was able to talk the nurse into letting me upload some shots of my x-rays.  I'm

My vicious cycle

I am sick and tired of this emotional bullshit fucking roller coaster that I live through daily. Every single

Conditioning

I've been hitting the PT harder and harder.  Yes, my body still hurts, but I'm

Cannot Wait!!

Take Me Away

I cannot find a way to describe it

Mass Effect Into Darkness

My favorite game of all time set to the new Star Trek trailer.  Very good.

Star Wars Trailer

I saw this today and thought it was extremely creative and really encompasses the original (the good ones) storyline. 

It is truly too bad the prequels weren't very good.  I could probably write a dissertation on that subject.

Enjoy!

Just another day

My spirits seem to be down again.  PT has been rough.  Most days I don't want to go.  It's too

Physical Therapy

I started doing physical therapy to get mobility back in my legs after essentially not using

Expressing Myself

I'm so tired there has got to be an end
to the pain I feel when I'm
awake and alive
alive and not dreaming

Short Lived Happiness

In a previous post, I mentioned how both my sister and friend Valeray came to visit me at the beginning of the month.  I was

By The Way

I'm posting a bunch of stuff that I have been writing in my notebook.  I have been (surprise surprise) neglecting this medium but am in the process of updating it as of, well...now.

Feeling somewhat normal

So one of my best friends all my life, Valeray, decided to surprise me in the hospital with a visit

Through a Rapist's Eyes

 I stole this from a Facebook post.  Hope it helps someone out so they don't end up like me.

"THROUGH A RAPIST'S EYES" (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.) Click

Failure

Well I've pretty much failed both my goals for today. Well

The Legal Aspect

Apologies to anyone out there who may actually be reading my posts.  I meant to post this way earlier, but I had to talk to my psychiatrist and then I slept for awhile.  I think my thoughts and understanding is coherent enough that I can finally write an update.

So I had a visit by the police and lawyers today. 

Some Good News

So my doctors gave me some good news today.  Following the rape, they did a series of

My Update

Here goes.  I'll come clean with you.  I'm not in a good place.  I'm having a real honest to goodness crisis of faith.  Faith in myself, faith in the world, faith in...faith.

On New Years Eve I was physically and sexually assaulted.  I cannot